The Comparison Trap Part 2: Wages

“We have a choice: Be content and go home feeling blessed, or compare ourselves to others and leave feeling slighted. The pay is the same, but our attitudes are drastically different.”

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“Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?”

Matthew 20:15

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I remember a time when I was interviewing for a job. The hiring manager was discussing with me what tasks the job consisted of and the expectations that came along with the title. As he read off the details of the pay scale, I was pleasantly surprised! The dollar amount he mentioned was actually higher than I expected. On the way home from that interview, I thought of what new opportunities that would provide. I thought of how much more equipped I would be to pay off my vehicle, get ahead on my mortgage payments, or invest for the future. I was excited for the possibility of being chosen for this new job and opening up that first paycheck with dollar signs in my eyes!

Later that evening, curiosity caused me to do a quick internet search about wages in my state. I wanted to compare the pay I was being offered to similar job positions in my area. Some of the studies I read said that my new paycheck amount would be a bit above average for this field of work. That was good news! That made my pride swell a little bit! However, when looking at annual earnings for the entire nation, it turned out to be fairly close to the national average.

Average? Just average? That was not quite the same ego-boosting feeling that I had felt just moments prior. Suddenly, my excitement waned just a bit. Now I didn’t feel so special. “Average” made me feel, well, normal. My prideful heart did not want to be “average”. It wanted to be special!

I had to take a moment to recognize the lies that were creeping in on me. An hour ago, I was content, excited, even happy! Now that I compared my number to the numbers of others, I started to think that maybe I wasn’t so special after all. I did a quick self examination. Nothing had changed with my situation. In reality, my finances would only be improved with this new job position. So, why then did I have this negativity showing up? The problem wasn’t my job offer, or my pay. The problem was comparison!

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The Comparison Game

Our culture loves to play the comparison game. Media pits us against each other. Marketing tells us we are not as trendy as our peers. The fitness industry shows us that everyone doing their workout looks better than us. There is no shortage of people and things convincing us that we need to be different in order to achieve some desired result. Often we are made to feel like our lives are not as good as other people’s because of something we are lacking. We can even begin to feel like we are being punished for not being as good as someone else.

“When Peter saw him, he asked, ‘Lord, what about him?'”

John 21:21

In John 21:20-23, Jesus puts comparison to a halt when Peter tries to compare himself to another disciple. “What is that to you?”, asks Jesus, “You must follow me.”

Do not look around at others in envy and ask “What about them?” Comparison is the thief of joy and, if we are not careful, it can become a trap.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Theodore Roosevelt

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Fair Treatment or Special Treatment?

After my salary comparison situation, I had to stop and ask myself, “Am I being treated unfairly? Or am I just seeking special treatment?” I had been thankful for what I had been offered, until I heard rumor of what others might be making. The offer was a blessing. I was simply being prideful in wishing to be held up on some sort of imaginary pedestal.

Just days later, I was reading in the New Testament when I came across the parable of the workers in the vineyard. In Matthew 20:1-16, Jesus tells a story of some men who were hired to work for the day in the fields for a certain amount of pay. As the day goes on, the landowner hires more and more people. He even hires some people that don’t start until about 5pm. When the payment is distributed for the day’s work, all workers receive the same total amount, regardless of how many hours they worked. The workers who were hired early in the morning were furious! They labored all day in the hot sun and got paid the same as someone who only worked a short time in the evening. Isn’t that totally unfair?

Actually, it was not unfair. By our current culture’s standards of being paid a minimum hourly wage, we expect to make more money the longer we work. However, that was not the original agreement this landowner made with the workers. The landowner made it clear that he would be paying one denarius to each person. They happily agreed to this arrangement. They were content with their pay, that is until they heard about the compensation of the others.

“Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?”

Matthew 20:15

A Lesson in Contentment

Every worker received the money they agreed upon from the start. The workers simply expected special payment because they had worked longer than some others. It wasn’t the amount of their wages that they were angry about. They were angry at their employer for showing grace.

It wasn’t the amount of their wages that they were angry about. They were angry at their employer for showing grace.

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Unfortunately, the workers were not the ones in the position to determine what was fair payment. They were only hired hands. They didn’t get to make the rules. They had the choice to be content with their pay and go home happy, or they could choose to compare themselves to the other workers and leave feeling slighted. Their response didn’t effect how much money was in their pocket. The only difference would have been their attitude.

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What About You?

In what ways are you comparing yourself to others?

Have you every been negatively effected when comparing your situation to someone else’s?

What is something you can do to practice contentment when facing adverse comparisons?

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3.9.24

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